Hiya, folks...! It's another wall of text from some random person who could be doing just about anything else except for this... Who's ready for some paragraphs from some stranger?
I know you'd rather be doing anything else, or maybe not haha.. But it does mean a lot if you do take the time to try to attempt to accurately type me... I will DEFINITELY NOT overthink it this time, and take your consideration FULLY to heart, and stop overthinking my MBTI type and live happily ever after! (Hahahahhaha...! ... ...)
Ok, let's begin!
- How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
I am a freshly 23 year old male that likes to do average Redditor bullcrap. Video games, memes, music, making my finger go up and down endlessly while staring at a glass LED screen with pixels on it while feeling like I've accomplished nothing. Just average stuff, I suppose. I'm not really that interesting tbh...
I work at home and I am just "vibing", as the kids say. I have some long term projects planned, but I'm at least trying to rest up from a really shitty 7 years that I've had back to back to back so... Nothing really insightful to write here haha..
- Is there a medical diagnosis that impact your mental/comportamental stability somehow?
Likely several... I had a very traumatic childhood that I constantly gaslight myself about like saying things like "it wasn't that bad, people have it worse" and much worse..
I disassociate from reality every 2.5 seconds, can't focus, have terrible insomnia, EXTREMELY low energy, mood swings, brain fog, random body pains 24/7, seventeen billion repressed emotions which don't help out anything else that I'm dealing with, memory problems, and I need caffeine to do the bare minimum of just about anything on most days, but some of that could be average American problems.
I've suspected I have some form as Aspergers, and probably A TON of mental illnesses, such as OCD, anxiety, depression, and maybe a personality disorder.
- Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
My upbringing is a very mixed bag overall. I would not say I had a typically "tragic" childhood (there goes me gaslighting myself LOL) because people have DEFINITELY had it worse than me. But I can't sit here and pretend everything I went through was "normal". To attempt to sum it up, I basically was a "gifted" kid who got good grades throughout school and maintained my image of being this perfect kid, but meanwhile in the shadows, I was just slowly dying inside and suffering from a lot of imposter syndrome (amongst other things), which I'd definitely would say is warranted because I was NOT cut out for anything in school and it showed. I basically faked my way through school, got burnt out EARLY but got mega burnt out by senior year, and basically started college with no plan but somehow still managed to graduate (barely) and just kinda end up where I am now.
As far as a religious upbringing is concerned, I definitely was heavily influenced by religion, in kind of a negative way (?) Religion and I have a VERY weird relationship. On the one hand, I guess I love my religious friends, the lessons I learned from it, and a lot of what it says, but on the other hand I can not ever be a part of one mostly because of some of the dogmatic thinking and extremely toxic aspects to it that people use to justify hate and violence, and that's not really my type of thing. Also, I used to be really kinda "uppity" or arrogant about my religion, and now I DESPISE seeing the same type of "holier than thou" attitude projected. It kinda irks me on the inside.
Looking back, my response to it all was a major polarity shift from one extreme, to the other, and now where I'm at, I can look back at both sides and take the good from both. What do I mean by that? Welllllll... I mentioned earlier how I can't stand the "holier than thou" type, and for a while, that was DEFINITELY me. I was REALLY into it and took it extremely serious. I wouldn't mind being called "lame" or "whack" for having my faith, but looking back, it really made my quality of life kinda worse because I did have those strong beliefs and those off-putting characteristics that ostracized me from my peers and some potentially great experiences. I grew out of this and then became an EXTREME atheist, and for a while, it felt freeing. I felt better, smarter, edgier, and just superior, but looking back, I was just cynical and a total asshole, and arguably worse than the "holier than thou douche persona" that I had growing up. Luckily, my extreme atheism phase kinda fizzled out after some other trauma that happened around the time I became an atheist, and now, I can respect religion and be open to it, the ideas, and the amazing things that come from it while also maintaining my independent thinking but not to the point of being "hur dur be skeptical and point out everything wrong with religion all the time and be an asshole for no reason to religious people", if that makes any sense.
As far as my relationship to the structure in my life.. It's kind of a mixed bag. I had a pretty suffocated childhood, and I wasn't allowed certain things, but I guess it wasn't really all that bad in the end, or at least as it could've been. Most of this was just protection from a single parent who just didn't want anything to me and wanted me to be the best I could be in life, and I can respect this and look back on some parts of my structured childhood with fondness. But I most certainly got sick of it all by the time I was almost finished with highschool and in a lot of my college career. I basically used to be Mr. Structured. I had everything organized, I was neat, clean, got everything done at the right time, all the good stuff. But my brain just got tired of maintaining that forever, because I was already pretty much bad at life, but I was forced to just continue faking everything until something happened. So, by the end of high school, I lost all of those characteristics and became extremely sloppy. But I really do blame that on being physically tired. Being as organized as I was was TAXING because of how I overdid it. And now, thinking back, a lot of my structuredness was just on the surface level, and it was me trying to live up to everyone's standards and be just on top of everything, all the time, at a VERY unhealthy level, and that's probably what burnt me out too. I was addicted to the image of being this extremely put together person who has their shit together, while not having absolutely any shit to get together because I was withering away inside faster than fresh cotton candy from the fair melts in your mouth when your mouth is dry.
So, basically to sum it all up, I was a really clean cut religious smart "gifted" kid who wasn't really that, at all (AND I still don't know who I am now tbh haha) and I got tired of putting on that image all the time and turned to a dirty neckbeard atheist cynic for a short time, and then balanced out to whatever the fuck I am now because I wear 238234 different masks for each and every occasion, but THAT'S a different story haha.. I look back at both equally cringey and horrible chapters of my life with some scorn for myself and the times, but overall a much more understand a balanced perspective, because I had to go through it all to be me, and I'm just glad I can be here now. I'd say I definitely liked moments from those chapters, but overall, I'm much happier where I'm at now, which is not nearly as anally obsessive at the concept of being structured and not nearly as hyper-faithful to my religion or just a total asshole piece of shit atheist.
- What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
Right now, I'm sorta half employed. I do trade a bit on the Forex markets from signals groups and make enough to help out my family, and buy myself things here and there. I'm only really doing this because I went through a really shitty 7 years and I just need time to myself to kind of figure out, A LOT (clearly, as you can see by reading this HORRIBLE reddit post LOL) and rest. I just like the amount of freedom I have, and the money. I really like the idea of me having money saved and ready for any emergency, or family member or friend. I just need money to help out, stay safe, and to have time for myself to rest and take care of my health, or just pursue all the hobbies I missed out on, and I'm totally fine doing this the rest of my life. I don't really need or want that much in life, and I've always kind of been like this. I just want things to be peaceful and simple, so that my mind can be at ease and to just have free time for myself and a solution for any random chaotic emergency that happens because my mind always thinks of the worst that can happen by catastrophizing literally everything ever in the world. So my "career" is just a means to an end, like I'm sure a lot of people's careers are, unless you happen to have a passion or something, which is also amazing.
I do like writing, and I do wanna finish my book. I daydream a lot about it, and sometimes that's much more fun than actually writing it, but I do wanna finish it, but I also want it to be absolutely perfect and plothole free, and much more. I also wanna do YouTube and Twitch, but I feel like I have a lot to do as a person before I can freely be on those sites as a full person/"influencer" (I have so many mixed feelings about having a full time career as an influencer and having my life under that much pressure and scrutiny, BUTTTTT that's a different discussion...), so I might pursue those slowly or just freestyle it for fun. Those were my big dreams as a kid, but growing up, I see that writing a good book is damned hard (worth it, but hard) and being a Youtubesocial media star is a different world entirely, and I don't know how I feel about it. Like, I know I'd never be a Shane Dawson (YIKES) or Cryaotic (EWWWWW) but to even just disappoint one person, or have any sort of fuckup, or.. I don't know where I'm going with this... Basically, everything I suffer from now would only be amplified by having a YouTube career, my people pleasing tendencies, my over obsession with being perfect for others/myself, my workaholic tendencies, my being hard on myself, my fear of fucking anything up, and my imposter syndrome, those would all go BRRRRRR if I got any decent success on YouTube, so... *Phew*
That's my weird relationship with my life, and where I wanna go with it. To be honest, I'd be happy where I'm at right now, because at the end of the day, as long as I'm healthy and my family is happy, I'm ok, but a part of me also wants to live out those big dreams like having my book be a thing and animated, and being a good YouTuber, meme maker, Twitch streamer, all the above at the same time but my insecurities are like "BWAHAHAHAHA", so I'm just like: -_- But I'll figure it out! Hopefully..
- If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
Hm... Interesting question. Honestly, I'd never feel lonely on weekends by myself. Even when my friends are doing better things or aren't around, I don't really feel lonely I guess. Most of the time I have weekends alone, I feel pretty refreshed I suppose. It's kinda hard to tell haha.. This feels more like a circumstantial question where a myriad of things that are going on during the hypothetical week or just in my life/mind would determine this answer. Sometimes I just need that weekend to recharge and be alone and in my thoughts, or watching Netflix or being an absolute video game degenerate while dancing alone in my room and eating junk food. And sometimes, I like to be out and about with my friends, or just doing stuff. I probably lean more towards refreshed though, overall in a general sense.
- What is your relation with movement and your surroundings? For instance do you prefer a sport or outdoors event? If an outdoors event what is it? And why? If not what type of activities do you tend to engage in?
BIG YIKES. I feel like a non human that doesn't belong on this planet or universe 99% of the time. I'm VERY slow, awkward movements, jittery, sometimes it looks like I was born yesterday with my grasp on physical reality, but yet, I do interestingly enough find myself loving to sweat and workout. I don't really have the coordination for any type of real sport, but I do like walks and I would run if I lived in an area where I could have a private or peaceful run where I would not be interrupted or seen by anyone because I look HIDEOUS running. I won't say I could never get into running at a professional or serious level, like with a group, but I'd just say it's more unlikely, for now. It sounds really exciting and interesting to be good at something physical, and I have always admired people who could do really sick stuff in sports, and I've always wanted to do it. But, right now, my uncoordinated ass will stick to just riding my exercise bike occasionally to burn off some restlessness and help me sleep betteperform better because working out makes my brain feel oddly stable lol. (I guess that's why I have such a fascination with physical stuff even though I am absolutely hopeless in most of it in the grand scheme of things)
- How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I don't know if I'd say I'm curious, I guess I just think a lot. Like, I'll see something or watch something and daydream about it all the time, making new ideas out of it in my head or creating something new with it, trying to take it a new level or understand it at a different level, if that makes sense. Like, I'll sort of mentally digest something and that's what gives me inspiration, or ideas. I take in everything as I go and make up new shit with it later on (LOL this sounds like regular human being talk, because everyone does this).
I would say I have a lot of ideas on everything. I daydream about random chapters in my book a lot, like full on scenes. I'll daydream about a new melody for a song I've never heard with lyrics, and I'll try to make lyrics in my head and extend the melody. I'll daydream about my interactions in life, and just how I could have responded differently, or maybe what the other person is thinking, or feeling, or stuff like I wonder if they're okay. I'll daydream about new memes I can make, or me in an interview (OMG MEGA CRINGE ROFL). I pretty much daydream about... Everything. And then I'll daydream about what I'm daydreaming about, and why I'm doing it, and it gets too meta at that point. (this could very well just be maladaptive daydreaming and NOT indicative of any cognitive function ROFL)
- Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
Nope, nuh uh. I am too much of a people pleaser and pushover. I'd be dead or betrayed before my first week is over. The thing about me is that generally, I feel like I'd be a terrible leader because I can overthink a lot, all the time, and I'd be slow to action and prone to analysis paralysis and extreme people pleasing tendencies. I can also be conflict avoidant, and just want people to be happy, so I'd let a lot of stuff slide that I maybe should not. Now, don't get me wrong, I can be firm and tough when needed, but eventually that'd be too much for me to bear, and I couldn't be in a position like that for long. I genuinely hope I never become a leader, because even when I'm looking back to five minutes ago, I can say that "ew, that's cringe bro", so I clearly have a lot of work to do before I have something that serious on my plate.
- Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA. Funny question. But.. Yeahhhhhhh... No. I am NOT coordinated. I can barely walk in my kitchen without the fear of me accidentally turning wrong or moving incorrectly and just breaking something or knocking over everything in the kitchen. SOMETIMES I'm in James Bond mode, and it feels like I can do anything physical, and I feel aware of everything, my body, my surroundings, and I can actually move like a human being, but that usually doesn't last long. I can do just the bare minimum that an average human can do, but MUCH MUCH worse and at a greater cost of my energy, and my mental energy trying not to fuck anything up because I have literally just been sitting at times and barely move and knock over EVERYTHING somehow, because that's just how much my body was not meant to be on planet earth and I maybe should have been incarnated as a slug, idk.
- Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I'd describe myself as artistic, even if I haven't drawn in years LOL. But let me explain... I do still have a love for it, I just haven't really been able to practice. In general, my art is just aiming for whatever is in my brain, and I don't have a solid style. I'm just going for whatever I'm going for in the moment. I prefer a mix of realism with some "quirks", if that makes sense. While I haven't drawn in a while, this is how I'd imagine I'd want my art to look nowadays. Pretty realistic with perfect everything, perfect features, perfect environment or whatever I'm illustrating or going for (perfect features on a person, all the hair strands drawn individually, etc), with a mix of my own little "spice", if that makes sense. Back in the day, my art was just trying to copy classic anime, and while I have no problem with that style, I just wanna kinda make my own style, even if that is hard to verbalize lmao.
Alright guys.. I would write more, but I'm sleepy and some of this is getting dumb/boring (as if it wasn't already LOL). I'm glad you made it this far, and thank you for reading and putting up with this actual garbage fire of a post. Please take care of yourselves during these crazy weird times, and I hope you are doing well. I look forward to reading you guys responses (if I get any LOL).
Stay amazing, and stay healthy :3
Edit: For those who down-vote but do not debate.
I want to cover points made in a recent post. You can see full here. https://www.reddit.com/Forexnoobs/comments/ac068f/i_got_banned_from_rforex/
It raises the points that I think people who have a gripe with what I am doing are feeling. I want to openly, and cordially, discuss/debate these points. With the OP, or anyone else of their thinking.
Lies hide in darkness. I am here to talk in the light, baby.
I have messaged the OP to invite them here. Let's talk. We might just both be on the same side.
(Edit: The OP has declined to opportunity to further discuss this matter).
Ask questions. Do not make assumptions. The truth will out.
I will go through this comment in sections, but here it is in it’s entirety so you can see nothing is quoted out of context.
This is not about /Forex
, it is about prejudice. forex
is old news for me now.
I am not. I could cite so many examples to show I am not. If you go to the MQL5 site, you will find thousands of people telling you they have a way to make money in Forex and telling you how you can use it. None of these people are purporting to be financial advisors, nor required to be so. Start going to the websites of anywhere offering Forex tools or tips, scroll to the bottom of the page and read the risk disclaimer.
This is something that is clearly stated in ForexCopy
. It is a bread and butter thing in this industry. 100,000s of thousands of services do what I am doing (and charge). Anyone who cares to know, can go and verify the things I have said. Everything is provided for educational purposes only. I do not know anyone well enough to make any sort of suggestions as to what they should do with their personal money. I am saying what I am doing … you do you.
Okay. I did update the FX Blue, though. Didn’t I? I showed the results. Everyone can see the results, everyone has fair information to make their choice on that. User set risk settings
. I can blow my account without copiers doing so, if they choose. Anyone can clearly prevent ultra-high risk trading with these settings, and this account shows them why that could be worth doing.
I tell people to trade with IC Markets
because they are the best. Tell me a better broker if you disagree. Let’s do a proper comparison. If that broker is better, I will duly adjust the broker I say is the best to trade with.
It does matter. If they were to lose with trading 0.1 lots, for example, I would make maybe $0.20 from each person. $20 per a hundred. Sometimes we should not ask questions in case we get the answers to them, but do I really seem like I could not work out a way to make this sort of money not fucking anyone over? It’s not a bank job.
However, if they win … and maybe even if they read all my posts in here and get some trader knows, they will have a bankroll in IC markets, know how to conserve and increase that and keep trading. In which case … this is awesome for me. This is my win. This is my payout end game. I am doing this to help people, if I do it right; that is how I benefit. It does
matter if they win or lose if my main concern is making money. I stop making money if they lose. Then there is ethics, but we are talking only things that individuals can personally logic check, so fuck it, let’s just say I am a prick. Still matters. Matters muchy.
On a side note, I have explained the strategy fully. So if I was to "commission whore" by opening and closing trades just for the sake of it, this would be quickly obvious. I post analysis and reasoning for all my trades. I post the risk taken in the trade. https://www.reddit.com/Forexnoobs/comments/acggwp/trading_journal_for_medium_risk_single_shot_copy/
If I do things that are conflicts of interest, or show lack of care for clients funds; these things will be seen. Clearly seen. I have provided all the data. People can log directly into the trading account. There is no-where to hide sneakiness. I designed it this way.
Name a deception or case of dishonesty. My losses are posted publicly. My affiliation clearly disclosed, and you are literally only basing deception on the idea you think I am flippant about them losing money. Which is unfounded.
If I was selfish and greedy, I would do this and I’d do it with a broker paying me 500% more. Want to test this? Go to brokers websites and start emailing them and asking them what they pay their IBs. Find out how greedy I am being. I know all my options.
If I am only manipulating naive people, I can sign them up to a terrible broker the same as a good one? Why would I take this big cut in my profit margin? Especially if I didn’t care of they lost and wanted the most upfront?
This does not actually make sense. Why would I not do it in a model where I could place their trades so I could trade bigger lots? Why would I let them control that? I certainly know how to do that. It would be more profitable for me. This is the least profitable way this can be done. I am not even forcing people to join ICM. Terribly inefficient brutal capitalism.
I do not want ignorant followers. I do not even want followers. I want a crowd of thinkers. Let’s think. Be rational. Have healthy scepticism without corrosive cynicism. I post everything. All my trades. Why I take them. How I developed the strategies. If people are ignorant, I hope they leave. I want people who are observant, and make use of the things I take the time to do for them.
My only advice to people is to think for themselves. Do their own diligence and make prudent and conscious decisions.
Unless anyone can raise any unique points , backed up with facts, logic and common sense, I think I've now said everything I have to say on this.
From here, I talk with results. I invite anyone else to do so also. They are the only thing that matter. https://www.reddit.com/ForexCopy/comments/acg7ux/fifo_high_and_medium_risk_single_shot_strategies/ forexcopy https://www.myfxbook.com/members/inweedwetrust
And with music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBjQ9tuuTJQ&list=RDZT9CZ4QbdCU&index=27
From now on, if people talk without actually using any logic or facts to back up what they are saying, since it will appear to me you have neglected to come up with an actual original idea, I will just respond to that by posting song lyrics. I consider them to be equally valuable.
A list of lyrics, artists and songs that contain the term "forex" - from the Lyrics.com website. Netherfriends is Shawn Rosenblatt. He is releasing 3 new albums every month this year. Thanks for listening, you are saving his life. - Posted by Netherfriends New Delhi: Google has announced a new capability where you can hum, whistle or sing a melody to find out the song that has been stuck in your head - no lyrics, artist name or perfect pitch required. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Email (required) (Address never made public). Name (required) Want U Back - Cher Lloyd Hey, boy you never had much game Thought I needed to upgrade So I went and walked away way way Now, I see you've been hanging out With that other girl in town Looking like a pair of clowns clowns clowns Remember all the th... Go Flex Lyrics: Lighting stog after stog, I choke on the smoke / They tell me to quit, don't listen what I'm told / They help me forget that this world is so cold / I don't even know what I'm We may not know it, but children can actually learn from songs if they pay attention closely to the lyrics, which will help them learn what the song means and make their own interpretation of it.
Another corporate song from "Entertainment Plus studios Pvt. Ltd. Directed by suresh malik Toh phir aao sad version Lyrics This song is the lyrical version of the song 'Toh phir aao' from the movie Awarapan starrer Emraan Hashmi and Shriya Saran. H... Share your videos with friends, family, and the world Alan Walker - On My Way (Lyrics) ft. Sabrina Carpenter & Farruko [PUBG edition] ️ Stream/Download: https://lnk.to/AWOMW 💁 Customer Support on Discord: https... The lyrics of this song had to be changed over 4 times because of the increase in Venezuela's inflation causing it to depreciate relevant to the American Dollar. This video won 2nd place in ACDC ... This is lyrics video of #Sajjin_Raj_Vaidya official song #Baralli_Lagyo_Yo_Hawaa_Le #Sajjin_Raj_Vaidya #Sangin_Subba my official channel Love this channel as well Like and Subscribe for more videos. Murmur MusiQ & Forex Broker Killer pres. DJ Coach (Tsekeleke) debut single titled "Forex trader" which features "Mellow Oupich" on vocals.